
As soon as I put him down, I started loading the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen, but I kept sticking my head in his room. He spent a few minutes staring at the bear (who is strapped to the bars, don't worry) then a few minutes staring at the wall, then a few minutes fussing before he finally fell asleep. I'd stick my head in every time I heard a sound, and stood there for three or four minutes watching him kick his little feet and make the little coughing sounds he does when he's not very happy. But he calmed himself down, got from his side to his back, and dozed off.
Standing there, I can't help but remember being in his position. I have memories from early childhood of being surprised by my parents. I would turn around, and there they were. Not talking, not trying to get my attention, just watching. I'm sure they did it hundreds of times without me catching them. And of course there are memories of them just showing up at the right time -- who knows how long they had been watching, waiting for me to need them. If you're reading this, Mom and Dad, thanks.
This is a very grown-up feeling, and the time when I feel most like a parent. I am standing there, focused 100% on him, ready to pick him up, change him, feed, him, rock him, or just hold him if he needs it. But he doesn't need it yet. And so I wait. And he had no idea that I'm there.
I feel this is one more way that God gives us glimpses of Him. Certainly God is much more proactive in our lives than I am in Jameson's life right now, but I don't always feel that. I'm sure those few minutes of fussing while he tried to get from his side to his back were very frustrating for Jameson. He felt alone. But he wasn't. Sometimes I need to remember that I'm not alone as well.
And now on to more fun stuff. Nathan doesn't buy waiting 'til six months for solid foods. Jameson got to suck on a corn cob. He was very confused.

He spent most of yesterday asleep. I couldn't bear to move him even though there are at least four "rules" violations here. Oh well.


And in non-baby news, Nathan got shot.

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